Why I’m not afraid to get older: A new mindset for life after 25 for a Millenial

Time to read: 6 mins

Why I’m not afraid to get older: A new mindset for life after 25 for a Millenial

I’m 26 in the city small-town Mississippi

I look forward to growing and glowing in abundance every trip I take around the sun. In the twenty-five years that I’ve lived on this earth, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve also realized how quickly we turn into our mothers (let’s laugh to keep from crying on this one, sis). So with that said, let’s take a moment to face some of the hard truths I’ve learned on my journey to Chapter 26. 

Let’s start with the hard truths: 

I’m a control freak 

Being a type-A person is stressful when you’re so busy trying to be perfect that you miss out on living your life. Mistakes build character, and you can’t make mistakes if you’re afraid to break the rules. The truth is, you’ll make mistakes regardless, and the world won’t end because of it. Even at 26, I’m struggling to balance going with the flow and scheduling my day by the hour. There are pros and cons to both, but as soon as I strike a balance, I’ll let you know. 

I need therapy 

We all need therapy. It’s clear to me that we all experience our own form of trauma throughout the years.  Whether our insecurities distort experiences in our head or we experience pain and move past it instead of learning how to heal. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who won’t judge you or give you an opinion on your own emotions. In my most challenging times, I prayed my way out of it. Prayer changes things, but God also created a field of professionals to guide us when we need to take our healing to the next level and find an unbiased accountability partner. A therapist can do that for you. 

I’ve learned that healing is such an essential aspect of personal growth and development, and when you are struggling in life, it’s okay to ask for help. As a child, I was super emotional, and I wore my feelings on my sleeves. As I got older, I got tired of people thinking I was weak just because I cared. I promised myself I’d stop showing people my emotions, and it changed me. I was nice, but once I put on a hard exterior, I couldn’t shake it. I used to channel my emotions in writing poetry or journaling in a diary, but bottling my feelings started to affect my relationships as an adult. It’s taken me years to allow myself to cry and express my feelings, and I’m a much better person because of it. Only now, I’m a little too emotional. I’ve become an empath, and I feel everything. 

Even the strongest among us need support. After being in quarantine for six months and the killings of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, and Breonna Taylor, I leaped and decided to talk to a professional because I was trying to deal with my emotions my life never stopped. My work responsibilities didn’t halt, my grad school responsibilities didn’t cease, and I was running out of people to vent to without feeling like I was becoming a burden. (I’ll write a post all about how I got the courage to schedule a consultation and find a well-equipped therapist finally.) 

I’m not a good long-distance friend 

Ever heard of situational or environmental relationships? (No, not a situation) It’s when you build relationships out of convenience and proximity. Well, anyway, I’m good at those. It’s not that I can’t make friends, but I am much better at them when I have time to invest in the relationship long term. When I experience a new environment, or I enter into a new season, I connect with many people. Still, once I leave or start a new season, the relationships aren’t as strong, we don’t talk as often. I also have this annoying habit where I think randomly calling people is an inconvenience just because I’m a planner and would prefer a heads up… but truthfully, random phone calls from people you miss are the best. For a few years, my goal has been to reach out more to the people that I love who are no longer around me every day, childhood and college friends, and keep the lines of communication open. We’re all busy, but having girlfriends you trust in your corner can really boost your morale and remind you of who you are and how much you are loved when life is kicking your butt. Being an adult is hard, and we must continuously tend to our circle of trust and strengthen our village. 

It hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows, but I’m well on my way to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m shifting my mindset and starting over before I over-analyze the process and get stuck again. 

I can hustle and secure the bag 

In this season of adulting, I’ve learned that I like to be busy. Not only do I enjoy being active, but I also love making money. So much so that I’ve had multiple jobs at once, and I felt like I was on top of the world. I built my savings account and reveled in the bliss that is multiple monthly deposits. It feels really good to say, “I’m doing this on my own,” and there for a person who craves stability, there is nothing more satisfying than not having to live paycheck to paycheck. Money is still tighter than I would like because I budget, but the goal is to monetize my lifestyle. I am obsessed with financial literacy and learning how to make my money work for me. As I’ve been on this adulting journey, I’ve realized that we can be wasteful with our coins, and the end goal should always be to have multiple streams of income. This pandemic has shown us that there is no such thing as job security. We have to continually pivot and create recession-proof income so that the next pandemic doesn’t set us back again. We can’t afford to be comfortable anymore. You’re leaving money on the table and not using your gifts to set yourself up for success. I’m guilty of that too, but I have a plan, and we’ll make sure you have one also. 

Write down your dreams 

I’ve manifested some incredible things in my life. I written down my goals, prayed over my life, and put in the work to see the results I so desperately needed. I’ve accomplished some of my wildest dreams by practicing the art of holding myself accountable, and it all started with a pen and my journal. I used to have the strongest will to want more for my life, but after a while, I began to overexert my energy on playing it safe because my dreams seemed too big for my current circumstance. I stopped writing down my dreams and started daydreaming instead… assuming I could wish myself into being courageous again. Let’s just say it didn’t work. I’ve wanted to start my website back up for years, and it wasn’t until I wrote it down that I actually started to face the fact that I had to do it scared if I wasn’t ready to do it without fear. 

Take a chance on love

Don’t assume I’m talking about finding a man because if you don’t know how to love yourself, no one will ever fill that void. Learning to sit alone with your thoughts, finding hobbies that bring you joy, and interrogating your fears are all a part of the process of really getting to know yourself. I hated being single because I had no idea what I wanted, and I filled my time with other people. I needed constant affirmation that I was enough, and then I realized that I was repeating a vicious cycle. One that left me feeling confused and alone. It’s time you stop basing your self-worth on other people’s opinions of you like I did. 

I competed in pageants for a very long time. Part of my training encouraged me to continually strive for “perfection” and seriously consider what other people thought of me. I went to many coaches and paid people a lot of money to tell me who I was because I wanted to be the best. It never felt like the woman I thought I was, was ever ‘good enough’ to win. It’s been hard to shake that mentality, but I’m finally giving myself permission just to BE… I’m going to step into MY truth and be myself unapologetically. I already love the idea of who I’m becoming, and this journey would have never started if I wasn’t aware that I was in bondage to people’s opinions of who I should be. 

Take a chance on yourself and show up each and every day to love yourself with good intentions. Leave the criticism behind and make room for mistakes. That’s the only way this thing is going to work out in our favor. You’re not too old to go after your goals. I believe God put a desire in me to empower those around me by sharing my journey… the good times and the bad are supposed to work together to show others that you are not alone. Start believing that what is meant for you will be, just say Yes and get to work. 

I firmly believe that you should strive to find and fulfill your purpose in life with each passing year. What good are your gifts and talents if you never share them with anyone? We all have an opportunity to leave this world better than we found it, and while I do just that, I want also to create a life that I love. So I encourage you to reflect on your past years and tell me… What are some hard truths that you’ve had to face about yourself, and how are you working to be a better version of yourself today? 

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leah gibson

Hi There

I'm Leah

Welcome to TheLeahEdition.com, where I challenge you to join me in the pursuit of radical self-improvement and revolutionary personal and professional success. 

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Hi There

I'm Leah

Welcome to TheLeahEdition.com, where I challenge you to join me in the pursuit of radical self-improvement and revolutionary personal and professional success. 

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Be the first to know about new content and boss vibes. Seriously, be in the know or hear about it.